The Pursuit of Closure
I’m better now, been happy for the last 2 days.
I really do apologize for all of the angry, suicidal and emotional FB statuses over the last 2 months, cos most of the times, it was my thyroid hormones talking (very unstable hormones), that wasn’t me. I am actually a jovial person haha.
Now I’m happier cos I have stopped those hormones from controlling my mind.
In fact, I am actually contented with my life and grateful for everything good in my life.
A few days ago, when the memories of him and us became too intense, impulsively, I smsed him.
I was looking for a closure. I think.
He replied. He wanted us to be together again. As much as I do not want to hurt him, I also do not want to hurt myself by going through it all over again.
How I have wished that he would understand me more, and hurt me less in the past. But now all of these does not matter to me anymore.
We just do not have a future together. And we’re better individually apart.
Now I’m either gonna leave it as it is, or reply him to “Please forget me”.
I guess this is closure to me.
I really wish that I can erase selective memories. Then my life would be a little less painful, and easier to create new memories.
It took me so long to get a closure for this relationship.
I just don’t want to give him hope anymore. Cos there’s no point getting back together and then break up again.
It’s better for him to find someone else who’s more compatible with him.
I don’t mind being his friend again but if he’s not willing to, then there’s nothing much that I can do.
I wish him all the best in his future undertakings, I hope that he will forget about me soon.
Now I’m running towards closure with an open heart.
I hope this means that I’ll no longer think about him, no longer will have that longing.
Goodbye my dear and thanks for the sweet memories.
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